| Both parents and players need to be prepared to | | | | Soccer Survival Rules for Parents: |
| survive soccer. Here are some of the essential tips | | | | For parents of soccer players, surviving the season is |
| for making it through the season. | | | | a question of preparation and good behavior. |
| For Kids: | | | | 1. Be sure you know where the field is and what |
| 1. Cleats (or "boots" if you're speaking British) are to | | | | time your player needs to be there. Nothing snuffs |
| be taken off before you enter the house. You may | | | | the joy out of the day quite as quickly as your kids |
| remove them in the car or in the laundry room, but | | | | sobbing or seething because you are desperately |
| under NO circumstances are you to wear them into | | | | racing to the field after having asked for directions |
| the kitchen where we have hardwood floors that | | | | for the 12th time that morning. |
| were re-finished several years ago and I have no | | | | 2. Make a list of all the players on your team and |
| intention of going through all that dust again for a | | | | their jersey numbers. "Great shot, Chris!!" is much |
| LONG time. So take off your cleats before going | | | | more meaningful than "Go Blue!" |
| inside. | | | | 3. Get your child to explain the game to you. First of |
| 2. If your cleats (or "boots") are wet, muddy, caked | | | | all, it's a great way to get your kid to talk. Secondly, |
| with grass, or otherwise messy, DO SOMETHING | | | | different leagues, different teams, different coaches |
| ABOUT IT. We do not have a shoe-cleaning fairy to | | | | use different terminology. It will save much stress if |
| magically clean them for you. And we are not going | | | | you use the same language your child is using. |
| to buy a new pair just because yours are a bit dirty | | | | 4. Yeah, I know your child is the single most |
| or soggy. So please, don't even ask. | | | | important player on the field. And I understand that |
| 3. We have purchased an extra large commercial size | | | | he/she never makes mistakes. But please don't argue |
| bottle of Fabreze. Use it! On cleats, on shin guards, | | | | with the referee. It is not a good example to set for |
| on your soccer bag-pretty much anything that can't | | | | your child, it can get our team penalized, and frankly |
| go in the washer is a good target. | | | | it is plain unattractive. It's much better if you sit next |
| 4. Speaking of your soccer bag, when you throw it | | | | to me and make snarky remarks quietly. |
| down on the kitchen floor because it is too heavy | | | | 5. In case you missed the memo, the most important |
| for you to carry a few extra feet, you accomplish | | | | part of kids playing soccer is to have fun and stay |
| several things (none of them good). You risk | | | | safe. So if a kid may be hurt and the ref stops play |
| scratching the kitchen floor (which I may have | | | | right before little Johnny scores, live with it. The |
| mentioned is a no-no), you are offering the Puppy a | | | | score is not nearly as important as taking care of our |
| new game called "See What Fun Things Are In The | | | | kids. |
| Soccer Bag," and you are clearly attempting to kill | | | | 6. For heaven's sake, please leave the fog horn at |
| your mother as the likelihood of me tripping over | | | | home. Personally, I'm not a big fan of them at |
| some portion of your gear is breathtakingly huge. To | | | | professional sports games, but these are little kids! |
| be clear-find another home for your soccer bag. | | | | (And I have delicate ears.) |
| 5. Do not ignore your soccer bag or its contents. | | | | 7. Teams win. Teams lose. Think hard about what |
| When it is half an hour to game time and it will take | | | | you say to your child in either event. For heavens' |
| 15 minutes to get to the field and you are supposed | | | | sake, please do not trash talk another |
| to be there 30 minutes early and you choose that | | | | player-especially when you're still on the field! Your kid |
| moment to yodel that your uniform isn't clean, there | | | | is probably |
| is not much I can do except offer you the | | | | 8. Try a Soccer Season Survival Bin. Mine lives in the |
| aforementioned bottle of Fabreze. This is also not | | | | trunk of my car during the season. Depending on |
| the time to mention that you don't know where your | | | | where you live you may want to change the |
| left cleat has gotten to, that everyone has agreed | | | | contents, but here's what I carry: lightweight blanket, |
| to wear a green stripe in their hair for this game, or | | | | an umbrella, a small towel, dog treats (in case Puppy |
| that I am responsible for snacks for the entire team. | | | | goes with us), kid treats (for the player and for the |
| 6. You are old enough to put water into a water | | | | siblings-guess which is more important), one of those |
| bottle all by yourself. You are old enough to tell time. | | | | chemical bags that turns into a cold pack when you |
| Therefore, you are old enough to have your own | | | | smash it, a couple of plastic bags, sunscreen, a couple |
| water bottle(s) ready to go on time. | | | | of pens, and some paper. (NOTE: I would love to |
| 7. Just to be clear: watching professional soccer | | | | know what you keep in your survival bin!) |
| games on tv does NOT constitute studying and | | | | 9. When you leave, check to be sure you have |
| therefore is not a substitute for doing actual | | | | everything including your water bottle, your chairs |
| homework. | | | | (not mentioning any names), and your child. |