| Do you ache to know if you're parenting well? Have | | | | and feeling. |
| your kids gone underground with their thoughts and | | | | 2. Listen carefully to what your child is saying and isn't |
| feelings? Do you feel cut-off? | | | | saying. |
| The most important job you'll ever have is parenting. | | | | 3. Appreciate your child's best thoughts. Avoid |
| To parent well, you need to know what your kids | | | | denying his/her feelings. |
| are thinking. If their thinking is crooked, their | | | | 4. No criticism. Empathize instead. |
| characters will be too. Let's see how to straighten | | | | What's next? Teach your child 3 easy sentences to |
| crooked thinking by viewing its power to create | | | | tell him/herself in difficult times. You'll be more |
| character. | | | | effective if you use these sentences out loud |
| Thinking Creates Character: | | | | before, during, and after diffficult times in your own |
| 1. Thinking sways feelings. | | | | life. Make sure your child hears these sentences |
| 2. Feelings sway behavior. | | | | often: |
| 3. Thinking, feelings, and behavior create character | | | | 3 Easy Sentences: |
| My toastmaster friend, Mike, presented a contest | | | | 1.Things aren't terrible or awful. |
| talk entitled "The Invisible Box." With his arms | | | | 2.This is just inconvenient. |
| extended, he drew an imaginary box about 7' high | | | | 3.Things don't have to go my way. |
| and 3' wide. Next he stepped inside and shut its | | | | Think about it. Awfuls and terribles don't really exist. |
| invisible door. Mike said that too many people live | | | | Things are the way they are. The trouble starts |
| inside their invisible boxes. How does this apply to | | | | when we use awful and terrible to describe the |
| your kids? | | | | difficult events in our lives. This is extreme thinking |
| 1. The invisible box is the place where they nurse | | | | and it is negative. |
| their hurts and grudges. | | | | Teach your child that difficulties are just inconvenient. |
| 2. The invisible box is the place where their negative | | | | Inconveniences are not terrible and awful. |
| attitudes fester. | | | | Finally, things don't have to go their way. Teach your |
| 3. The invisible box is the place where they make | | | | child to accept the reality that he/she is not the King |
| multiple excuses and hide. | | | | or Queen of the universe. If they were they could |
| Could this already be happening in your child's mind? | | | | make things go their way. They'd have the power. |
| Certainly! What can you do? Listen for words like: | | | | Accepting that things do not have to go their way |
| - Nobody likes me. | | | | frees them from hiding inside the invisible box. Being |
| - I can't do it. | | | | free helps them face the challenges in their lives with |
| - It's too hard. | | | | a positive attitude. |
| Suppose your child tried to make the select soccer | | | | Take the time to discuss your child's thoughts and |
| team. Your child's best friends made the team but | | | | feelings. Teach your child to use the 3 easy |
| the coach didn't choose your child. Now your child | | | | sentences with their 3 simple and deep meanings. |
| shuts down, won't go out to play, and steps into the | | | | You'll be helping your child step outside the invisible |
| invisible box. What can you do? | | | | box. You'll be parenting well. You'll be building |
| Discuss the Problem with Your Child and: | | | | character too. |
| 1. Probe gently. Find out what your child is thinking | | | | |