| Do you ache to know if you're parenting | | | | child is thinking and feeling. |
| well? Have your kids gone underground | | | | 2. Listen carefully to what your child |
| with their thoughts and feelings? Do you | | | | is saying and isn't saying. |
| feel cut-off? | | | | 3. Appreciate your child's best |
| The most important job you'll ever have | | | | thoughts. Avoid denying his/her |
| is parenting. To parent well, you need | | | | feelings. |
| to know what your kids are thinking. If | | | | 4. No criticism. Empathize instead. |
| their thinking is crooked, their | | | | What's next? Teach your child 3 easy |
| characters will be too. Let's see how to | | | | sentences to tell him/herself in |
| straighten crooked thinking by viewing | | | | difficult times. You'll be more |
| its power to create character. | | | | effective if you use these sentences out |
| Thinking Creates Character: | | | | loud before, during, and after |
| 1. Thinking sways feelings. | | | | diffficult times in your own life. Make |
| 2. Feelings sway behavior. | | | | sure your child hears these sentences |
| 3. Thinking, feelings, and behavior | | | | often: |
| create character | | | | 3 Easy Sentences: |
| My toastmaster friend, Mike, presented a | | | | 1.Things aren't terrible or awful. |
| contest talk entitled "The Invisible | | | | 2.This is just inconvenient. |
| Box." With his arms extended, he drew an | | | | 3.Things don't have to go my way. |
| imaginary box about 7' high and 3' wide. | | | | Think about it. Awfuls and terribles |
| Next he stepped inside and shut its | | | | don't really exist. Things are the way |
| invisible door. Mike said that too many | | | | they are. The trouble starts when we use |
| people live inside their invisible | | | | awful and terrible to describe the |
| boxes. How does this apply to your kids? | | | | difficult events in our lives. This is |
| 1. The invisible box is the place where | | | | extreme thinking and it is negative. |
| they nurse their hurts and grudges. | | | | Teach your child that difficulties are |
| 2. The invisible box is the place where | | | | just inconvenient. Inconveniences are |
| their negative attitudes fester. | | | | not terrible and awful. |
| 3. The invisible box is the place where | | | | Finally, things don't have to go their |
| they make multiple excuses and hide. | | | | way. Teach your child to accept the |
| Could this already be happening in your | | | | reality that he/she is not the King or |
| child's mind? Certainly! What can you | | | | Queen of the universe. If they were they |
| do? Listen for words like: | | | | could make things go their way. They'd |
| - Nobody likes me. | | | | have the power. Accepting that things do |
| - I can't do it. | | | | not have to go their way frees them from |
| - It's too hard. | | | | hiding inside the invisible box. Being |
| Suppose your child tried to make the | | | | free helps them face the challenges in |
| select soccer team. Your child's best | | | | their lives with a positive attitude. |
| friends made the team but the coach | | | | Take the time to discuss your child's |
| didn't choose your child. Now your child | | | | thoughts and feelings. Teach your child |
| shuts down, won't go out to play, and | | | | to use the 3 easy sentences with their 3 |
| steps into the invisible box. What can | | | | simple and deep meanings. You'll be |
| you do? | | | | helping your child step outside the |
| Discuss the Problem with Your Child and: | | | | invisible box. You'll be parenting well. |
| 1. Probe gently. Find out what your | | | | You'll be building character too. |