| The Winter Olympics....Once again the fishing world | | | | beneath the ice fisherman's stool as he scrambles for |
| has been ignored.As I sit watching a spine tingling, | | | | shore before disappearing into the frigid waters.Talk |
| heart thumping, always tension packed Olympic | | | | about the agony of defeat....2)Boat Slalom. Never |
| Curling event competition, I can't help but wonder | | | | mind the luge, bobsled, or skeleton(which at first |
| why a fishing event has never been represented in | | | | glance appear to require the two major athletic skills |
| the Olympics.What are they trying to say?Are they | | | | of courage and alcohol), try standing up in a drift |
| saying that there is no athletic prowess involved | | | | boat while running a classIV rapid with a 40 pound |
| when trying to flick a #12 Adams to a 20 inch ring | | | | salmon stripping line off of your reel, hell bent for |
| created by the kiss of an 18 inch Rainbow trout!Is | | | | return to the ocean. Yes, athletes in ten layers of |
| the firing of a high powered rifle after skiing around | | | | clothing including the mandatory flannel outer jacket, |
| on a pair of wooden planks any more demanding | | | | will try to stay afoot while "the driver" navigates the |
| than fording a riffle packed stream and tossing a | | | | boulder choked channel of a stream. Not only are the |
| chunk of powerbait deftly into the "honeyhole" | | | | contestants timed in this event, but style points are |
| pocket containing an 8 inch stocker?I see no | | | | given for the degree of difficulty the athlete shows |
| difference.But then I'm an idiot.Or am I? Let's at least | | | | while doing "gunnel grabs", "spins", and the ever |
| take a look at some future options for the winter | | | | popular "aerials". Throw in a number of slalom gates, |
| Olympics, that can finally give the fisherman his due | | | | and you have the making of an event made for |
| when it comes to skill and athleticism....1) What event | | | | television. Fall in or lose your salmon, and it's sorry |
| shows stamina and grit more than ice fishing? I | | | | Charlie--see you in four years."OOOHHH, tough break |
| propose a winter Olympic event that is comprised of | | | | Vern--Elwood has been training all his life for this |
| ice fishing. In this event, contestants will be timed on | | | | moment, and to see it all go overboard in one instant |
| their ability to saw a hole in 8 to 10 inches of a | | | | is heartbreaking...."3) No offense to our Canadian |
| frozen lake surface, run in sneakers across the | | | | friends north of the border, but --CURLING!!! |
| frozen ice to a designated staging area where they | | | | CURLING!! A combination of bowling on ice and a |
| will grab up a rod, and stool, and sprint back across | | | | group of shop keepers trying to keep the storefront |
| the ice to the open hole, bait up, and sit for hours in | | | | spiffy.Gawd, the winters must be awful up |
| a fierce northern wind. The athlete then will hopefully, | | | | there.Outside of the obvious "sex appeal"of the |
| eventually catch a fish, pull his fish from the ice hole, | | | | Olympic Curling |
| drop it in a bucket, and sprint again across the ice, | | | | events, the only thing more thrilling would be to |
| into a 1975 Ford pick- up truck, drive across the finish | | | | watch Dick Cheney go quail hunting.But, given that |
| line to the cheers, flag waving,and cow bell jingling of | | | | there is a place on the podium for chiseled curling |
| his fellow countrymen.More challenges? Perhaps a | | | | athletes, I'm sure we could find a spot for the skilled |
| couple of fellas name Swen and Ole can sit across | | | | athleticism of the Winter Fly Tying Team ! |
| from the contestant and constantly be throwing a | | | | This event would obviously be dominated by the |
| verbal barrage of "You Betcha's" and "Don't ya | | | | American squad, which has trained year round in a |
| know's" at the athlete, as he or she agonizingly | | | | meat locker in Detroit. Size #28 midge after |
| attempts to coax a fish out of the water.Talk about | | | | miserable size #28 midge, the Americans have |
| grit!!Of course the Norwegian contingent might not | | | | relentlessly been training, by tying these little buggers |
| have a problem with this and be at a decided | | | | to 8x tippet--in a meat locker kept at 14 degrees |
| advantage.HOW do you say "you betcha" in | | | | below zero.That's minus 26 celsius for our European |
| Norwegian anyway?We will all watch as the hole | | | | competitors.There at the Olympic Fly Tying arena, in |
| starts to skim over with ice,and the athlete frantically | | | | frigid weather, teams of fly tiers will take to the vice, |
| chips away at the hole to keep it ice free.All the | | | | and tie up various flys. We will watch pained |
| while precious time clicks away as the fish only | | | | expressions and complete intense concentration as |
| nibbles at the bait.They can even hold this event | | | | athletes try to get their fingers to work in the icy |
| indoors at the Olympic Hockey or Figure Skating | | | | cold. We will hold our breath as they try to get the |
| venues. It might even make the hockey games more | | | | hackle and dubbing just right. Precious time will tick |
| interesting with a few holes in the ice, and figure | | | | away as they blow on their hands, and we watch |
| skating?PLEASE... a double axle into a gaping hole in | | | | split screen images of just where the Olympic |
| the ice will add more excitement than Tonya Harding | | | | hopefuls lost time along the way.Of course,in this |
| and Nancy Kerrigan living in the same trailer park. Or | | | | two day event, athletes will be judged on speed, |
| they can leave a few frozen fish on the ice to help | | | | style,difficulty, and the ability to catch and release |
| add to the Olympic ambiance.The events could also | | | | fish.So, here's to the athletes of the XX th Olympiad, |
| easily be held as a "two man" competition with one | | | | and I will see you fishing rod in hand, in Vancouver in |
| athlete fishing, while the other builds an ice shack.If | | | | 2010.A.J. Klott |
| the extreme thrill of the Downhill is your cup a tea, | | | | Author, writer of fishing humor,and "fly tack" |
| imagine if they hold the event on thin melting ice. The | | | | peddler. A.J. writes about the people,characters and |
| now famous runs of Franz Klammer and Hermann | | | | modern day events that surround the fishing world. |
| Maier will pale in comparison to the crackling of ice | | | | His first book is due out in December of 2005. |