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Article #389: Girls Allowed? It's Encouraged

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I've recently learned the hard way that take 13/5 for a draw between Aston Villa
you should never discuss politics and and Chelsea.
religion. My lodger and I became I'd love to see Sammy Lee succeed at
embroiled in a furious row over the Bolton, but the only way he'll still be
conflict in Iraq. Dave was very vocal in employed at Christmas is if he finds six
his condemnation of Bush; but he flew off pals. An Everton win at the Reebok is
the handle when I criticised Brown. It available at 2/1; that's plenty big
almost came to blows. enough.
The day after our acrimonious political How on earth were Fulham not awarded a
altercation, we fell out over his attempt penalty against Aston Villa last week?
to convert the wife into devout Craig Gardner's handling in the area was
Christianity. I was less than pleased so impressive; Petr Cech and John Terry
when I arrived home from work early to both rang to congratulate him. Lawrie
hear a chant of "Oh God" emanating from Sanchez is probably the unluckiest
the spare bedroom. manager in the league at the minute,
As a result of our constant bickering, I Spurs can take advantage at 11/8.
had to ask Dave to move out. He didn't Pompey are set to release David Nugent a
react well to my decision; he tried to mere month after splashing out £6m on
smash my back door in. The wife was him. Such an eventuality would have been
extremely disappointed with the a 999/1 shot on the exchanges, but it
unpleasant outcome, as she'd literally wouldn't have lasted long. The 8/15 for
bent over backwards to make him feel Arsenal beating Pompey is equally as
welcome. attractive.
Roy Keane and Alex Ferguson can empathise Liverpool v Derby may well prove to be
with my predicament. Sir Alex had to the greatest mismatch since Kate Moss
offload the busy Irishman after he paired off with Pete Doherty. The master
criticised a number of team-mates. I can songsmith could have done a lot better.
understand why Fergie was so upset; only You won't find a bigger banker than
a mug would buy Kieran Richardson after Liverpool at 2/9.
Keane's vitriolic volley. I was disappointed to see Mido react to
The return of United's prodigal son has inflammatory chants last weekend. A
added real spice to Sunderland's trip to professional footballer is paid
Old Trafford. A case can be made for handsomely to ignore provocation from the
backing the Mackems at 18/1, but it has crowd, and Mido makes good bread. All of
more holes than Amy Winehouse. I have to our finances will receive a boost if we
side with Manchester United at 1/4. take the 11/10 for a Middlesbrough win
Robbie Savage has his critics, but I'd over Birmingham.
happily place the Welshman alongside The FA's decision to launch an enquiry
Keane, Vieira and Makelele; if I was into the Newcastle supporters' behaviour
creating an 'odd one out' question. The is typically over the top. If you ask
5/4 for a Blackburn win over Manchester me, it's being blown out of all
City stands out like a sore thumb. proportion. I'll happily make a fuss
When I heard that Kieron Dyer had broken over the 3/4 for a Newcastle win over
his leg in two places, my immediate Wigan.
thoughts were 'Lee Bowyer's house' and Mido labelled the offending supporters as
'Craig Bellamy's golf club'. West Ham 'drunks' after the match, which I found
are a different side to the team that quite offensive. I partake in the
were on the end of a 6-0 shoeing at occasional swift few beers myself, but
Reading last season, the Hammers can take I'm not a drunk; I'm a connoisseur of the
revenge at 23/10. liquid bint-thinner. A 14/1 weekend
Cheryl Cole surprisingly turned down a accer of Middlesbrough, Newcastle, Man
£150,000 Bentley from her wealthy Utd, Arsenal and Blackburn will pay for
husband, because she felt 'she didn't enough lager to drop the wife down a few
earn it'. The solution is pretty sizes.
obvious. I'm going down the bookies to






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