Ten Sure Fire Ways To Fail As A Manager

In an effort to be less than constructive as aa few weeks, make some slight adjustments, and
manager, here are ten sure-fire ways to alienate andthen claim them as your own. They will squawk in
demotivate your team on your change journey.the restrooms and lounges, but they will know what
Hit-or-miss approaches don't go far enough; this isit is to respect authority.
your chance to use the best methods of corporate7. When things go wrong, you know who to sacrifice.
torture and humiliation developed by dictators,When you're given a bunch of turkeys, how do they
steamrollers and other "tough guy" bosses.expect a leader to get them to fly? Never tarnish
1. Never give in to selling any change when you canyour reputation as a change agent when you have
exercise your power by demanding it. Demands keepinexperienced, marginal team members to blame. If
staff in their place--down there somewhere. Tact andby chance your team does succeed on its own, take
frequent communication does to authority whatthe credit. After all, with effective leadership even
sugar does to teeth. You wouldn't want to rot yourturkeys can fly in unison for 50 feet.
teeth; you wouldn't want to spoil your team. After8. Build your own corporate torture chamber adapted
all, if any of your people had any ideas worth listeningto the needs of your trouble-making staff. Know
to, one of them would be the boss.how to schedule hours to produce maximum
2. Develop a varied arsenal of "looks" to master theaggravation. Keep the pressure on by making them
subtle put-down. A well-placed sigh and a "that waswork with team members they hate and projects
dumb" stare can work wonders in silencing yourthey have no skills to draw on. When they are in the
people. Add the verbal clinchers: "Are you kidding?" or"dog house," let them know it is not supposed to be
"Do you really think I'd do that!" Try well-placedfun.
sarcasm: "Yeah, I knew I'd have this problem when9. Never give recognition; it sets the stage for
they made me put you in this position!" When theycomplacency. After all, they are lucky they have a
react, just say, "Can't you take a joke withoutjob. If you thank them, all they do is ask for more
overreacting like most women do?"money. In this century of never-ending change, there
3. When providing performance feedback, don't letis no place for a "good guy" on your corporate
them find their own solution when you can reinforcejuggernaut!
your position of authority by telling them what they10. Bark is only as good as a bite. Fear is a great
"obviously should have done!" Take them to themotivator. Don't waste your time with petty, lengthy
stone tablets enshrined on your office wall to showdocumentation with your tough employees; make a
them the error of their ways. Be ready to use thescene by threatening their job on-the-spot. Sure,
Harvard Business Review, your MBA notes, or Dilbertyou'll lose a few, and don't worry about lawsuits. If
cartoons to identify how defective they really are.you abuse them privately, there will be no witnesses
4. Never deal with issues when you can attack theand it's your word against theirs.
person. When they criticize your ideas, question theirWith these helpful hints, as a boss bent on failure,
attitude and commitment to the team. When theyyou can be sure to arrive there. You'll know if it is
miss a deadline, question their ability to handleworking. On the surface, people will appear to work.
responsibility. If they persist in making their point,You will get compliance when you are in sight. You
keep them in their place by saying, "If I wanted yourmay find they work slow, make many errors, and
opinion, I'd give it to you!"have no concern for quality or customer service, but
5. Keep harping on the phrase, "More with Less" toat least you know you will get the minimum. You will
explain your downsizing, reorganizations andbe butchered at the drinking fountains and in the
cost-containment initiatives. Busy people are happylounges, but don't let petty gossip get in your way.
people whether they want to admit it or not. Don'tYou will feel lonely, but that goes with creating the
let your need to hold the line on wages to impressillusion of power. They will have a going away party
stockholders stop you from taking the wagewhen you leave. Unfortunately, you will not be invited
increases and bonuses you deserve for leading yourto the party. By the way, the Surgeon General
team through such perilous times.warns that using these hints may be hazardous to
6. Never give information or strategic direction untilyour management career and a disaster to the team
you have to. Once you do, never change yourand organization you serve.
position. Now, if their ideas are really better, just wait