| In an effort to be less than constructive as | | | | direction until you have to. Once you do, |
| a manager, here are ten sure-fire ways to | | | | never change your position. Now, if their |
| alienate and demotivate your team on your | | | | ideas are really better, just wait a few |
| change journey. Hit-or-miss approaches don't | | | | weeks, make some slight adjustments, and then |
| go far enough; this is your chance to use the | | | | claim them as your own. They will squawk in |
| best methods of corporate torture and | | | | the restrooms and lounges, but they will know |
| humiliation developed by dictators, | | | | what it is to respect authority. |
| steamrollers and other "tough guy" bosses. | | | | |
| | | | 7. When things go wrong, you know who to |
| 1. Never give in to selling any change when | | | | sacrifice. When you're given a bunch of |
| you can exercise your power by demanding it. | | | | turkeys, how do they expect a leader to get |
| Demands keep staff in their place--down there | | | | them to fly? Never tarnish your reputation as |
| somewhere. Tact and frequent communication | | | | a change agent when you have inexperienced, |
| does to authority what sugar does to teeth. | | | | marginal team members to blame. If by chance |
| You wouldn't want to rot your teeth; you | | | | your team does succeed on its own, take the |
| wouldn't want to spoil your team. After all, | | | | credit. After all, with effective leadership |
| if any of your people had any ideas worth | | | | even turkeys can fly in unison for 50 feet. |
| listening to, one of them would be the boss. | | | | |
| | | | 8. Build your own corporate torture chamber |
| 2. Develop a varied arsenal of "looks" to | | | | adapted to the needs of your trouble-making |
| master the subtle put-down. A well-placed | | | | staff. Know how to schedule hours to produce |
| sigh and a "that was dumb" stare can work | | | | maximum aggravation. Keep the pressure on by |
| wonders in silencing your people. Add the | | | | making them work with team members they hate |
| verbal clinchers: "Are you kidding?" or "Do | | | | and projects they have no skills to draw on. |
| you really think I'd do that!" Try | | | | When they are in the "dog house," let them |
| well-placed sarcasm: "Yeah, I knew I'd have | | | | know it is not supposed to be fun. |
| this problem when they made me put you in | | | | |
| this position!" When they react, just say, | | | | 9. Never give recognition; it sets the stage |
| "Can't you take a joke without overreacting | | | | for complacency. After all, they are lucky |
| like most women do?" | | | | they have a job. If you thank them, all they |
| | | | do is ask for more money. In this century of |
| 3. When providing performance feedback, don't | | | | never-ending change, there is no place for a |
| let them find their own solution when you can | | | | "good guy" on your corporate juggernaut! |
| reinforce your position of authority by | | | | |
| telling them what they "obviously should have | | | | 10. Bark is only as good as a bite. Fear is a |
| done!" Take them to the stone tablets | | | | great motivator. Don't waste your time with |
| enshrined on your office wall to show them | | | | petty, lengthy documentation with your tough |
| the error of their ways. Be ready to use the | | | | employees; make a scene by threatening their |
| Harvard Business Review, your MBA notes, or | | | | job on-the-spot. Sure, you'll lose a few, and |
| Dilbert cartoons to identify how defective | | | | don't worry about lawsuits. If you abuse them |
| they really are. | | | | privately, there will be no witnesses and |
| | | | it's your word against theirs. |
| 4. Never deal with issues when you can attack | | | | |
| the person. When they criticize your ideas, | | | | With these helpful hints, as a boss bent on |
| question their attitude and commitment to the | | | | failure, you can be sure to arrive there. |
| team. When they miss a deadline, question | | | | You'll know if it is working. On the surface, |
| their ability to handle responsibility. If | | | | people will appear to work. You will get |
| they persist in making their point, keep them | | | | compliance when you are in sight. You may |
| in their place by saying, "If I wanted your | | | | find they work slow, make many errors, and |
| opinion, I'd give it to you!" | | | | have no concern for quality or customer |
| | | | service, but at least you know you will get |
| 5. Keep harping on the phrase, "More with | | | | the minimum. You will be butchered at the |
| Less" to explain your downsizing, | | | | drinking fountains and in the lounges, but |
| reorganizations and cost-containment | | | | don't let petty gossip get in your way. You |
| initiatives. Busy people are happy people | | | | will feel lonely, but that goes with creating |
| whether they want to admit it or not. Don't | | | | the illusion of power. They will have a going |
| let your need to hold the line on wages to | | | | away party when you leave. Unfortunately, you |
| impress stockholders stop you from taking the | | | | will not be invited to the party. By the way, |
| wage increases and bonuses you deserve for | | | | the Surgeon General warns that using these |
| leading your team through such perilous | | | | hints may be hazardous to your management |
| times. | | | | career and a disaster to the team and |
| | | | organization you serve. |
| 6. Never give information or strategic | | | | |