| In an effort to be less than | | | | do, never change your position. Now, if |
| constructive as a manager, here are ten | | | | their ideas are really better, just wait |
| sure-fire ways to alienate and | | | | a few weeks, make some slight |
| demotivate your team on your change | | | | adjustments, and then claim them as your |
| journey. Hit-or-miss approaches don't go | | | | own. They will squawk in the restrooms |
| far enough; this is your chance to use | | | | and lounges, but they will know what it |
| the best methods of corporate torture | | | | is to respect authority. |
| and humiliation developed by dictators, | | | | 7. When things go wrong, you know who to |
| steamrollers and other "tough guy" | | | | sacrifice. When you're given a bunch of |
| bosses. | | | | turkeys, how do they expect a leader to |
| 1. Never give in to selling any change | | | | get them to fly? Never tarnish your |
| when you can exercise your power by | | | | reputation as a change agent when you |
| demanding it. Demands keep staff in | | | | have inexperienced, marginal team |
| their place--down there somewhere. Tact | | | | members to blame. If by chance your team |
| and frequent communication does to | | | | does succeed on its own, take the |
| authority what sugar does to teeth. You | | | | credit. After all, with effective |
| wouldn't want to rot your teeth; you | | | | leadership even turkeys can fly in |
| wouldn't want to spoil your team. After | | | | unison for 50 feet. |
| all, if any of your people had any ideas | | | | 8. Build your own corporate torture |
| worth listening to, one of them would be | | | | chamber adapted to the needs of your |
| the boss. | | | | trouble-making staff. Know how to |
| 2. Develop a varied arsenal of "looks" | | | | schedule hours to produce maximum |
| to master the subtle put-down. A | | | | aggravation. Keep the pressure on by |
| well-placed sigh and a "that was dumb" | | | | making them work with team members they |
| stare can work wonders in silencing your | | | | hate and projects they have no skills to |
| people. Add the verbal clinchers: "Are | | | | draw on. When they are in the "dog |
| you kidding?" or "Do you really think | | | | house," let them know it is not supposed |
| I'd do that!" Try well-placed sarcasm: | | | | to be fun. |
| "Yeah, I knew I'd have this problem when | | | | 9. Never give recognition; it sets the |
| they made me put you in this position!" | | | | stage for complacency. After all, they |
| When they react, just say, "Can't you | | | | are lucky they have a job. If you thank |
| take a joke without overreacting like | | | | them, all they do is ask for more money. |
| most women do?" | | | | In this century of never-ending change, |
| 3. When providing performance feedback, | | | | there is no place for a "good guy" on |
| don't let them find their own solution | | | | your corporate juggernaut! |
| when you can reinforce your position of | | | | 10. Bark is only as good as a bite. Fear |
| authority by telling them what they | | | | is a great motivator. Don't waste your |
| "obviously should have done!" Take them | | | | time with petty, lengthy documentation |
| to the stone tablets enshrined on your | | | | with your tough employees; make a scene |
| office wall to show them the error of | | | | by threatening their job on-the-spot. |
| their ways. Be ready to use the Harvard | | | | Sure, you'll lose a few, and don't worry |
| Business Review, your MBA notes, or | | | | about lawsuits. If you abuse them |
| Dilbert cartoons to identify how | | | | privately, there will be no witnesses |
| defective they really are. | | | | and it's your word against theirs. |
| 4. Never deal with issues when you can | | | | With these helpful hints, as a boss bent |
| attack the person. When they criticize | | | | on failure, you can be sure to arrive |
| your ideas, question their attitude and | | | | there. You'll know if it is working. On |
| commitment to the team. When they miss a | | | | the surface, people will appear to work. |
| deadline, question their ability to | | | | You will get compliance when you are in |
| handle responsibility. If they persist | | | | sight. You may find they work slow, make |
| in making their point, keep them in | | | | many errors, and have no concern for |
| their place by saying, "If I wanted your | | | | quality or customer service, but at |
| opinion, I'd give it to you!" | | | | least you know you will get the minimum. |
| 5. Keep harping on the phrase, "More | | | | You will be butchered at the drinking |
| with Less" to explain your downsizing, | | | | fountains and in the lounges, but don't |
| reorganizations and cost-containment | | | | let petty gossip get in your way. You |
| initiatives. Busy people are happy | | | | will feel lonely, but that goes with |
| people whether they want to admit it or | | | | creating the illusion of power. They |
| not. Don't let your need to hold the | | | | will have a going away party when you |
| line on wages to impress stockholders | | | | leave. Unfortunately, you will not be |
| stop you from taking the wage increases | | | | invited to the party. By the way, the |
| and bonuses you deserve for leading your | | | | Surgeon General warns that using these |
| team through such perilous times. | | | | hints may be hazardous to your |
| 6. Never give information or strategic | | | | management career and a disaster to the |
| direction until you have to. Once you | | | | team and organization you serve. |