Sports Parents Who Lose Control

Pennsylvania:A parent body slammed a high schoollevied on the opposing player, the parent confronts
referee after he ordered the man's wife out of thethe referee and shoves him to the ground.
gym for allegedly yelling obscenities during aAfter the school had to forfeit the game, the parent
basketball game.was later banned from attending all extracurricular
The referee was treated at a hospital for aactivities involving the school for at least one year
concussion and released after the attack. Chargedand possibly through his son's graduation.
with simple assault, assault on a sports official,WHAT CAUSES PARENTS TO LOSE CONTROL?
reckless endangerment and disorderly conduct was aAccording to sports psychologist Darrell Burnett,
47 year old father.Ph.D., often such parents are reliving unrealized
Kentucky: A father of a T-ball player was brieflydreams through their children. They somehow get
jailed after an outburst against an umpire during acaught up in the win-at-all cost frenzy.
game involving 5 and 6 year-olds.The core problem comes from parents being too
The accused threatened to beat the umpireinvested, emotionally and financially, in their children's
moments before walking onto the field and starting agames. They sometimes have misplaced self esteem.
fight with an official,according to the criminalAnother factor, according to Dr. Burnett, is a general
complaint. A girl who was playing in the gameattitude in our society encouraging us to retaliate
suffered a minor injury when she was struck in thewhen frustrated rather than using negotiation skills:
face during the scuffle."somebody pushes their buttons and away they go."
Every day in America and around the world,sportsCAN THESE PARENTS CHANGE?
officials are physically and verbally harassed. MostYes, if they desire it. Learning to manage sports
incidents do not require police or medical assistance,anger is a process of applying two of the eight core
but in some cases, the harassment turns violent.tools of anger control: (1) Adjust expectations of
The fact that such behavior occurs at sportingperformance to realistic levels and (2) communicate
events involving youth participants is appalling in itself,displeasure you may have with assertive
but the frequency in which these reports now occurcommunication skills.
is even more disturbing.SPECIFIC TIPS FOR SPORTS PARENTS
NASO (National Association of Sports Officials)Keep a moderate level of intensity; not completely
receives more than 100 reports annually that involvedetached, but not overly aggressive.
physical contact between coaches, players, fans andAdjust your expectations to a realistic level by
officials. The nearly 18,000 member organization isputting the sporting event into proper perspective.
not the "clearinghouse for bad behavior," says NASOOther tips include:
President Barry Mano, but it is the belief by NASO*Don't yell at the coach or child. If you have an issue,
that the reports it receives is only the "tip of thediscuss it assertively at the appropriate time.
iceberg."*Don't try to coach from the sidelines. Again, if you
Loss of control by parents has long-term negativehave an issue with the coach, your child, or other
effects on the lives of the children, the school, andchildren, discuss it privately.
the parents themselves, as the following story*Stay interested, supportive and positive.
illustrates:*Praise the effort and the progress as achievement,
Florida:A Parent enters the soccer field to check onnot just the outcome.
his son, who has been injured in a skirmish for the*Model good sportsmanship.
ball. Angry that a more severe penalty had not been